\u201cIf the goal of medicine is to prevent death, then the entire enterprise is a complete and utter failure.\u201d\u00a0 Dr. Robert Taylor of the Ohio State Medical Center was speaking to us at the Newman Center on a Thursday in early December.\u00a0 We had gathered to examine the question of why it\u2019s so hard to help people die in America.\u00a0 Dr. Taylor has spent his career examining the ethics and spirituality of palliative care, and has concluded that the goal of medicine isn\u2019t to prevent death, but to relieve suffering.\u00a0 He and his colleagues are re-thinking the ethical paradigm for providing medical care to the elderly in an aging world, and he graciously shared their discoveries with us.<\/p>\n

People who are seeking a good death help their families prepare for their absence.\u00a0 One of the frequent questions that patients ask Dr. Taylor is, \u201chow much time do I have?\u201d\u00a0 In some cases, they are really asking him to try to extend their time on earth.\u00a0 But in most cases they\u2019re thinking through all of the things they\u2019ll need to do to arrive at a good death.\u00a0 One of the most important aspects of a good death is called \u201ccompletion.\u201d\u00a0 It means a chance to thank those who have been important in our lives, to forgive those who have hurt us, to express love, and to ask for absolution.\u00a0 People who are seeking a complete end to their lives are willing, in general, to cede medical decisions to their loved ones, because they care more about their loved ones\u2019 well-being than their own autonomy.\u00a0 Seeking completion is a way of helping those loved ones prepare for the dying person\u2019s absence.<\/p>\n

Ceding one\u2019s autonomy can be very counter-cultural, especially among white middle-class people.\u00a0 Dr. Taylor pointed out that being dependent on others is often the worst thing that white middle-class people can imagine.\u00a0 Which made me realize that even a healthy person in mid-life, such as myself, can begin preparing for a good death by surrendering my self-reliance daily.\u00a0 As I listened to Dr. Taylor, and thought about my own eventual death, I realized that I want it to be fearless.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to cling to life because I think that I can somehow control it.\u00a0 I also don\u2019t want to fear death because of a sense that too many things have been left undone.\u00a0 A good death, it seems to me, is a reflection of a good life.<\/p>\n

Hospice is a unique cultural institution, one of the only American institutions that explicitly bless death in a culture that is youth-obsessed and death adverse.\u00a0 Our faith-communities can sometimes do this, but with less consistency and intentionality.\u00a0 What if we were to adopt the questions of hospice and ask them of our members?\u00a0 Dr. Taylor gave us four questions to ask.\u00a0 What is most important to you?\u00a0 What gives your life meaning?\u00a0 What is your greatest fear?\u00a0 What is your greatest support?\u00a0 These questions can be asked of anyone, at any time.\u00a0 They are questions that help us understand our lives as we live them.\u00a0 And because of that, they are questions that can help us understand, and accept, our deaths.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cIf the goal of medicine is to prevent death, then the entire enterprise is a complete and utter failure.\u201d\u00a0 Dr. Robert Taylor of the Ohio State Medical Center was speaking to us at the Newman Center on a Thursday in early December.\u00a0 We had gathered to examine the question of why it\u2019s so hard to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":1962,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14,100,659,567],"tags":[689,691,688],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/praxiscommunities.org\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1961"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/praxiscommunities.org\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/praxiscommunities.org\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/praxiscommunities.org\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/praxiscommunities.org\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1961"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/praxiscommunities.org\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1961\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1963,"href":"http:\/\/praxiscommunities.org\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1961\/revisions\/1963"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/praxiscommunities.org\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1962"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/praxiscommunities.org\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1961"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/praxiscommunities.org\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1961"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/praxiscommunities.org\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1961"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}